Why aren’t we talking more about struggling with fear & insecurity?
People say that you should do something that scares you everyday and I can safely say that I’m terrified.
And, maybe it’s just me, perhaps in my struggles I need a little more reassurances but I’ve caught myself refusing to admit that I’m living with a healthy (usually) amount of fear, concerning career choices and pursuing my passions. Fact is, I’m scared that I don’t really know what I’m doing, I’m living with all these fears; fear of flat out failure, a fear of being rejected by my peers, mentors & role models, and a huge fear of being ignored due to age, gender and lack of experience . The worst aspect of living with my fear is the feeling that I’m not supposed to discuss it or nor do I know what to do with it or how to use it as motivator.
“Fake It til you Make it” is a mantra I live by, however at what point are you just a fake? All innovators and pioneers had to pretend like they knew what they were doing on the road to ground breaking research, products and ideas.
But why aren’t we talking about that?
Why aren’t more of our present day technology & start up heads discussing the realities of the fear that nagged at them and how they honed used those unanswered questions and tormenting critiques to persevere?
One of my favorite characteristics of tech startups is how the genuine the people that make up this amazing field are. Yet when I read the tweets of those I look up to they tend to lack that authentic honest voice that drew me to this industry.
I understand mass widespread fear is what causes economic downturns, riots and hoarding of dry goods IE Y2K. And I’m not suggesting that people should become so engulfed in their fears that it inhibits their daily lives. However I would love to see more candid discussion about the nagging fears that drive people to work harder or in some cases stop us mid sentence. I can only imagine how reassuring it would be for myself, my peers and those coming up in this tech madness to see one of their favorite entrepreneurs openly discuss what he/she is currently struggling with.
I can’t remember how many times I’ve written & deleted a tweet or blog post pertaining to my current struggles but I was fearful of the image that it would reflect on myself and my projects. It seems for such a highly intelligent community, people would often rather save their image than discuss something sincere. Bouts with fear and insecurity doesn’t make me or anyone else weak, it makes me human. I’ll be the first admit that I’m a very flawed human and it’d be nice to be reminded that the footsteps I’m following in are of those another flawed human being, who just like me is simply trying to chase down their dream. I would love to know what fears/insecurities/nagging voices/prior rejections pushed them to work harder, ask previously ignored questions, and create something original. Often times its that unrelenting trepidation that incites that heralded ”boot strapping” gumption resulting in prolific opportunities for growth, impact and success.
One last cliche quote, one that I really appreciate and relate to;
“Not all who wander are lost”.
Further reading
Below is a link to a favorite blog post of mine written by a fellow Portlander, Scott Hanselman. He discusses the fear of being a phony and articulates in a manner I wish I could have.
http://www.hanselman.com/blog/ImAPhonyAreYou.aspx
An non exhaustive list of famous persons who failed at first —
http://www.onlinecollege.org/2010/02/16/50-famously-successful-people-who-failed-at-first/
Search results from Fast Company & INC — Decent topics but I would like to see more than one article a month concerning this topic.
